Do you feel you are not good enough? You are not the only one as many people have experienced this. This is a completely wrong belief to have. Everyone in this world is quite unique and has strengths of their own. All you have to do is set up a journey to discover yourself and be better.
Let us look at a scenario to get a better understanding. Your best friend invites you for a drink in the bar. After a while, he proceeds to tell you that you are not good at anything you do. You always fail when you try something. How long can it take you to begin punching him? The same applies when we constantly tell ourselves this same thing.
Many people focus on their weaknesses because it is easy for negative thoughts to take over. You may see your friends succeeding and wonder why not you. Believe in yourself and give your strengths a push. We will look at reasons and how to get rid of such a feeling.
Why Do You Feel Like This?
Some reasons are why you may find life sucking at everything. From being lazy to strict parents, the range is large. Below are a few possibilities and you may find relating to some.
1. Using It as an Excuse
It may reason like a petty reason, but you may simply be using it as an excuse. Do not be ashamed as you can make a change. Some of you are in fear of pursuing your dreams or goals. You may want to pick the easy route and blame it on this feeling. Using it as an excuse will get you nowhere; get rid of it.
2. Inner Critic Taking Control
The inner critic refers to the little voice you hear whenever you are unsure about doing something. Its main purpose is to always hold you back. In that case, you start feeling worthless. If you listen to the inner critic constantly, you may lose the hang of your true self. Many things in life will start being negative and you start holding back.
3. Pressure from the Society
From the government, media to family members, they may set unrealistic expectations. Such distractions make you feel poor at everything. Society wants your life to be in a certain way. A lack of room for being creative makes you start doubting yourself. Such things just take away the joy in your life.
4. Overlooking Your Skills
Do you look at the skills you have? You may not feel good at anything because you do not like the skills you have. If bad times come with your work, you start doubting yourself and think of quitting. What about the things you have excelled at? People always forget to balance the successes and the failures. Overlooking things is easy but a very wrong take when trying to achieve your goals.
5. Imposter Syndrome
What is imposter syndrome? This is simply a collection of feelings of inadequacy persisting despite being successful in many things. It affects many people and thus should not be overlooked. You find yourself downplaying the achievements of the past. This can make you not achieve your dreams by holding you back and thus feel not good at anything.
There are a few tips to help you deal with imposter syndrome;
- Talk about your feelings with your family or friends
- Take note of the imposter feelings and keep records
- Having different perspectives of things and doubts are normal
- See failure and success as a learning curve
- Professional help is always needed
9 Tips to Help You Push Through This Feeling
Next time you start feeling you are unworthy, use these tips to overcome the feeling.
1. Look for Your Purpose
Lacking a purpose and direction in your life may make you feel not good at anything. Do not bend to the demands of this feeling. Go out and hunt for something you want to fulfill in your life. Maybe you do not have enough time for yourself. Take up a hobby and have a go at it. When friends can balance their hobbies and work, it is quite easy to feel worthless.
Having a boring career? Start a new degree and work hard on it. The career may not be as challenging as you wish. It is time to change jobs or follow a new career path. Are you also growing apart from your friends? Make new friends if your friends have moved on. This has nothing to do with your skills and it might make you feel you are not good at anything.
You may start thinking negatively of yourself if you do not find a soulmate. Also, having a partner that constantly holds you back is a big challenge. You start changing the perception of yourself because of your partner. Find what exactly you want to achieve out of that relationship. You are good at something if you put your head into it. Finding a purpose makes a big difference to your mindset.
2. Take Some Time Away from Social Media
Social media is among the great inventions for sharing information. However, it can also cause you to feel worthless and inadequate. Only one side of life is portrayed on social media. Yet, you get convinced that the other people are doing much better than you. Do not always believe in everything you come across on social media.
I would confess that it is hard not to compare yourself to others. When you start feeling inadequate, it is time to take a break from social media. This will take you away from consuming ‘perfect lives’ posts. It will also allow you to give your life full focus and find a purpose. Stay away until you feel you are in a better mindset.
If certain posts make you feel worthless, block them. Once you clear your headspace, you can always come to social media and enjoy. Take breaks now and then to find something you are good at. That time you waste scrolling endlessly can be used to achieve a goal.
3. Do not Believe Your Inner Self
Our minds can be our worst enemy, especially during hard times. When in problems, negative thoughts can lead you to a downward spiral. You may be left not feeling smart enough or pretty enough. You should push away these thoughts and be strong. In case your friend or family member struggles with the same, you tell them to stand up. The same should apply to yourself.
Your loved ones in these situations are the pillars of support. Having a talk with your friend or crying on a shoulder is important. They can even help you discover the best qualities you possess. A small boost in self-esteem will help get rid of the negative thoughts. You can also do the same for them when they go through such situations. What are family and friends for?
4. Accepting that you May Never Become the Best
This happens a lot to perfectionists; they always feel they are not good enough. You may become intimidated in a class by those better than you. It is now the time to concede defeat as you cannot be good at everything. It is okay not to be the best at something but make sure you enjoy it.
Go to the gym and give your best. Always tell yourself what you have done is good enough. Probably, you are the one who had the most fun. If you let perfectionism slip away, you can shake feelings of inadequacy away too. All that matters for you in the end is that you go out there and have a try.
5. Telling Yourself the Truth
There could be something beyond just not being good enough at something. Try digging into your soul and find the base for such a feeling. Why are you so focused on achieving a specific thing? Is it worth the feeling it is causing you?
You could be jealous of someone and want to prove them wrong. Avoid trying to outdo someone and focus on what you have while they do not have it. This will boost your self-esteem and life generally. Work the roots of all the thoughts. An honest and good conversation with yourself will help you get the answers.
6. Search for What You Are Good At
The negative thoughts can be a positive shift in your life. Do not sit back and accept that you are not good enough. Go find whatever you are good at and excel. You may however have to do some digging to get to them.
List down things you enjoy most doing. One by one you can tackle them by trying them out. If you push hard enough with dedication, you will be surprised by how good you are. Most people excel at something by putting time, effort, and dedication into their work. Yes, it is all about finding your strength, then work from there.
7. Try Being Versatile
Is it fun being good at one thing? You can also be ok with many other things. I have always wanted to be a jack of all trades; master of none. This may come naturally to some people while others have to work. You may be feeling worthless, but other people have a different view of you.
The friends and family who see you trying different things, feel inspired by you. Embrace it as you can be good at many things in this world. It is also fun to explore a few other things. This skill is pretty important to have in the modern world. You can always be good at something.
8. Trust in the Process
You may have to give yourself time to discover what you are good at. When you see people are good at something, they did not do it overnight. You have to discover your strengths and improve them. Some people are comfortable at the place they are. Other people, the drive within them drives them to achieve the best.
The key thing is to not rush and trust in the process. You can never discover what you are good at if you do not give them enough chances. It takes time to get there. You have to convince yourself to have some fun as you are on the path to the destination. Do not berate yourself if you stumble, rather give a pat to yourself for trying. Focus on progress and not on perfection and success.
9. Ignore the Negative Thoughts
We often consider our friends and family to validate the negative thoughts. They will agree with you as a way of showing support. You could have been looking for a boost in confidence. However, your failures could have just been reinforced by your friends.
Avoid the negativity trap. The family members are not in the wrong for agreeing with you. Neither do they think you are not good at anything. They just want you to get past it because you approached them with negativity. Find a reason to ask your friends first before proceeding.
With the tips above, you should be uplifted and never feel inadequate in this life. Everyone is good at something and that is the bigger picture. Dig deeper into your activities, give them time and everything will start uncovering. The skill people struggle to master is being happy with what they are doing. Remember not to compare yourself to others. In short, be your life coach.