So, you are single…?
If you’re like me, this is one of the most frustrating and confusing aspects of your day-to-day life. So many questions pop up in your head…
Why can’t I find love? Why am I still single? Ain’t I good enough to find a partner? Or maybe it’s because of all these other things that are going on at once and I’m just getting overwhelmed with everything!
Well, honey, it can be quite tough to find love. But, there are a lot of reasons why one might still be single.
Today, I’ll address all those potential reasons why you might be still single. I will also look into some tips for how you can get back out there and find somebody new.
Ready for the dive? Let’s jump right in…
What does being single mean?
A lot of people have different ideas about what being single means.
For some, it is the time when they’re dating around and having fun getting to know new people without any strings attached.
For others, being single might mean that you’re just not ready for a relationship. It may as well mean that you don’t want one at this point. (And that’s totally okay!)
Some might be single because they’ve gone through a bad breakup and need time to heal. That’s also understandable if that is truly what you’re feeling in this moment.
On the other hand, others seek but can’t seem to find the ‘perfect match.’ They have read every book on love. They live religiously by the laws of attraction but still get nada when it comes to finding a fulfilling relationship.
So, don’t feel alone or like there is something wrong with you just because of your relationship status these days.
Saying “I’m single” means so many things for many different people. There isn’t any right or wrong answer. It all depends on how you define being solo at the current moment in time.
And, hey, maybe someday soon we can add another title next to your name such as “partner,” husband/wife,” etc.
But, until then let’s look into why one might still be single.
Reasons why you may still be single
What are the possible reasons for being single? There can be so many reasons why one might still be single at this point in time.
Here are some of them:
1. You haven’t met the right person yet
Many people feel that way. They end up going through life with an endless list of partners they want to date but never end up going out with any of them.
If this is you…
You keep having casual relationships without anything serious ever happening. And why? Well, maybe it’s just because nobody has caught your eye as being interesting enough to have a more committed relationship with at this point. (or even forever)
This is a pretty common feeling for people to have.
For some, it might take years before they meet somebody that makes them feel things deep down their stomach and heart.
2. You constantly bottle up your true emotions
You could be also putting up a wall around your heart. This is when you don’t dare to let others see what’s going on with you emotionally. You never let people know how you feel inside for fear of getting judged, embarrassed and rejected.
You always shut down people before they get a chance to get close enough. There’s a fear that it could potentially hurt you in the end if things go sour.
This can cause you to have several failed relationships over time. What’s more, this trait might haunt you when trying other dating apps on the market.
You may want love but you’re too scared that letting your guard down will only result in one thing. More pain instead of happiness.
So, why even bother, right?
3. Having unrealistic expectations from your partners
There may be some unrealistic expectations that you have when it comes to dating.
Maybe you want your partner to carry on in a certain way. Or, be exactly like someone else who’s not available anymore because they’re already taken by somebody else.
This can get any relationship off on the wrong foot from the start!
It might even cause them to fail before anything serious ever happens between you two. That’s a sad case if that was something you truly wanted for yourself in life.
It might benefit you greatly if you did some soul searching first before jumping back into the dating world.
4. You’re still wound up with your ex
This might not apply to you but it could be a reason why someone is still single.
One of the most common reasons people are still hung up on their exes is because they never got closure from them in the first place.
It’s tough to move forward when you’re constantly comparing your current partner with somebody who isn’t even there anymore. (and we all know that we can’t win against this comparison game!)
Do yourself a favor and talk things through with your ex if possible.
Also, consider seeking professional help if needed for you to truly let go. This can help you start afresh with your new flame. You deserve happiness at the end of the day…don’t forget about that part!
5. You lack self-esteem
If you’ve got low self-esteem, it can prove quite difficult for you to find a romantic partner.
You’re constantly putting yourself down. You don’t feel like anybody will ever want to date someone with your personality traits.
This can cause you to shut others out before they even get the chance to meet the real ‘you.’ (and that’s not cool at all)
On top of that, if there are any negative thoughts or emotions that come up when thinking about dating again, then this is a clear sign that something isn’t working right in your mind first!
You always have to work on your mind no matter what situation you’re facing.
What works best? Well…continuing to work on yourself and finding happy thoughts that lift you up when times get tough.
This can help pull in that partner of your dreams sooner than later! (wink wink)
6. You have too much self-esteem
Yes! This could also be a reason why you’re still playing Monopoly alone.
You might have too much self-esteem that it becomes toxic to your dating life.
You think you’re better than everyone else and don’t need anyone’s help or support whatsoever! (harsh, but true)
This can cause other people to feel intimidated by you. This is because they don’t want to catch feelings for someone who isn’t interested in them at all. It works both ways, unfortunately… ‘unfortunately’ being the keyword here!
It may take a little while before you find a partner if this has gone on for a while now in your life. You’ll eventually attract somebody into your life when the time is right. Though, only once your guard comes down from its high horse position up above.
7. You’re moving too fast
This is another common but hidden reason why you’ve stayed single for long.
You’re not taking your time to get to know somebody and you just want them all now!
If this is you, then it’s likely that you’ve had an endless number of failed relationships already. And that’s because they were never ‘real’ in the first place. (you make a new person who fits into your perfect mold over and over again)
It can take some time before you find somebody right for you but don’t make someone up as we go along here. That won’t work out well at all either.
Just give yourself more space from other people until love comes knocking on your door eventually if that makes sense.
8. Unhealthy life routines
You might lead such a busy life that you don’t have time for a romantic partner. Or maybe you’re just too stressed out from work to even think about dating.
This can be another reason why you remain single.
You’ve got your life all figured out and you’re perfectly content with it as well. Still, it’s never going to lead you into a fulfilling relationship either way! (Tisk Tisk)
You need to make your health and love life equally important if not more than everything else in your life.
You’ll see how much better things get when you put this one step forward instead of staying stagnant throughout the years.
You deserve to be happy just as much as everyone else, so why not give it a go now?
9. You fear intimacy
This is one other top reason why you still kick it alone even at 30+ years.
You might have a fear of being intimate with another human being which can cause you to lose your connection very quickly after it begins. This makes sense if this has happened in past relationships before too!
Of course, that’s going to hurt anybody involved with you. And yes, they’re likely not going to stick around much longer either way. And neither will you!
10. Walling people off
It can be very easy to let this happen too. Especially if you’re hurting from past relationships and the like.
You might want to shut down and disconnect completely with others in your life because of any of the other reasons herein.
This is a natural reaction but it’s not going to help you find love anytime soon either way! (bummer!)
The best thing for you would be to take baby steps when reconnecting with people out there again.
11. Looking for love in the wrong places
You might be also looking for love in all the wrong places.
And this is another problem that most people can face at some point or another!
This will not only slow down your journey to finding a partner, but it could even stop you from getting into one completely too.
You’ll just keep repeating past mistakes over and over again instead of moving forward towards something better.
And who wants to do that after all? Nobody likes being stuck in a romantic rut, right?
Avoid places and spaces that have hurt you before. They’ll only do it again if you let them.
That’s exactly why you need to take control of your life right now and make the changes necessary for love!
12. Insensitivity to other people’s feelings
This is another classic mistake that might prevent you from getting your plus one.
You just don’t consider other people’s feelings when you’re dating them. This makes everything worse for everyone involved in the relationship.
It causes a lot of problems and misunderstandings in your love life.
No one wants an uncaring partner. That’s just not what love’s supposed to be about.
If you want to sustain a relationship:
You need to try and change your behavior for you to find the kind of romantic and intimate connection that everyone else has.
It’s understandable if it takes a little while for love to come your way. After all, there are so many different factors involved in finding the perfect partner!
If you keep getting impatient every time things don’t go your way, then it’s going to be hard for you to achieve true happiness with someone else.
With love and dating, patience really is a virtue. So do try and master it if necessary!
14. You’re too clingy
Does this sound like you?
The more clingy you are, the less likely it’ll be for someone to stick around with you.
You might want to let go and give your partner all the room they need for them to feel comfortable.
Letting go, even just a little bit, will make things easier on both sides – trust me.
Tips on how to find love again
If you want to find love again after a long hiatus for whatever reason, here are some tips that might help:
- Baby steps. You’ll have to take it slow and easy if you wish to find the right partner.
- I can’t stress this enough as well! Patience is a virtue you need to develop for yourself if it’s not already there.
- Join engaging online dating websites. This is one of the best ways to find love in this day and age!
- Be sincere with your emotions. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you and control what you do. Also, don’t bar someone who cares about you from assessing your emotions.
- Be open with who you are too. Don’t pretend to be someone else because it’ll only backfire in the end anyway. Be yourself at all times and your potential partner will appreciate you for being you.
- Have realistic expectations. Don’t expect too much from your partner but don’t expect too little either. Keep your expectations in check so you don’t get disappointed later if things don’t run as planned.
- Let go of the past and move on! You can never have a romantic future with someone else if you keep revisiting your past love.
Check to see if any of the reasons I’ve talked about here today somehow affect you. I’m sure there are plenty more out there but the above should suffice for now.
If any thoughts or emotions come up when reading about them, then keep working on yourself. Everything will get better for you over time. (fingers crossed!)
You deserve it, darling :). And so does everybody else in this world!